From Film to Paper

I would have to say that 1999 was the year that it hit me. The Matrix had come out, George Lucas "blessed" us with a new Star Wars flick, and I had had my first encounter with a Kevin Smith movie, namely, Clerks. It was a time that completely changed my life. It was at that point that I wanted to be a film director.

I had done a couple of home movies with my friend. It seemed like a piece of cake for the most part. The thing that I loved the most was (well, two things) watching the idea come to life and being behind the camera. I wasn't too terribly interested in screenwriting back then. I just enjoyed getting in there and creating an image from a few words and ideas that me and my friend had. Don't get me wrong, I was no Steven Spielberg, but back then, it felt good to be following in the footsteps of one of your heroes. There was a sense of accomplishment and pride that came from our crappy home movies, and no one who could take that away from me.

As the years progressed, it became more and more evident that directors rarely manned a camera. They always had their giant headphones and several monitors surrounding them. I can understand that this gives a director a clearer view of his vision, but it just seems so...lazy. Maybe I don't truly know how it works. What I do know is that if you want to be in control of the camera, then you better sign yourself up for cinematography school. Or inhabit the body of Robert Rodriguez. I'm not sure which one is easier.

It wasn't until I realized that I had wanted to direct my own material (a la Kevin Smith, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez) that screenwriting became appealing. I had seen a truckload of shitty movies getting made left and right and this irked me. I knew I had it in me to write BETTER shitty movies. Thus, I went to work on my first idea: a story VERY loosely based on my college experience, or lack thereof. Before I knew it, I had churned out 120 not so solid pages. But whatever, I had my first script done and plenty of other ideas to flesh out. So, not too long ago, I started my second full-length script. This time, it dealt with a more personal matter and its certainly loosely based, but not as loose as the college movie.

It was this second script (as well as reading a bunch of screenwriter blogs) that really took my love and appreciation for screenwriting to another level. I don't write as much as I should, though. But I love to read about it, I love to think about it. It even makes me feel good when I actually do some of it, even if it's only one page.

Nowadays, I'm not as obsessed with directing as I was before. But believe me, if given the chance, I am there. When I write my screenplays, I already have certain scenes in mind. I know how I would want them to play out. The interactions and the dialogue, while not top notch, is usually where I want it to be. I would not be happy if a director wanted to make some "changes". That is probably the main reason that keeps my dreams of directing alive: I don't want somebody screwing my shit up. It's not Oscar gold, but it's a part of me, it's something invested part of my life into, and it's something that I hold dear.

I write this post only because tomorrow (or today, depending on which time zone you're in) I am going to attend a small seminar about how to break into Hollywood screenwriting, or something to that extent. It is by no means a foot in the door, but hopefully now I will be able to barely see the building where said door is located. I really hope I get a lot out of this, because there are times when I think about saying fuck you to the "real" world and completely dedicating my life to screenwriting. That's a big cupcake for me to swallow, but it could happen.

Da Bomb in Phantoms Yo!

I was watching an episode of SNL on E! recently and Ben Affleck was the host. I realized something while I was laughing, though: Ben Affleck is awesome. People talk a lot of shit about, and they don't cut him no slack (although, Gigli cannot be forgiven, I'm sorry). Sure he's made some bad career decisions, but he still seems like a great guy. He is always very funny when he hosts SNL. He is never reluctant to poke fun at himself. He just seems like a real down to earth type of guy; someone you would definitely want to shoot the shit with. If you've ever seen Ben Affleck talking it up with Kevin Smith, then you have a pretty good idea of what it's like to hang around with Ben Affleck. All in all, people just need to lay off him. I'm not trying to be his personal bodyguard, or some crazed fan who "understands" him, but he doesn't deserve all the poop flying his way. His only real mistake, in my opinion, was dating J Ho...I mean J Lo.

The duct tape is in the top drawer...

Monday brought us yet another excellent episode of 24. There was one thing that made me sort of chuckle and that was...duct tape. For those of you not in the know, the terrorists this season have stolen 20 canisters of nerve gas. Long story short, the terrorists had to cut open these canisters very carefully and very precisely so as not to cause a gas leak. To seal them up, however, they used the most versatile tool known to man, namely, duct tape. All I can say is that if terrorists trust duct tape enough to use it as a way to seal a deadly canister of gas, then I too shall put my undying faith into the hands of the almighty duct tape.

Lazy Sunday

I don't know how I let this gem pass me by, but I am so glad that I was finally able to view it. I'm talking about the SNL digital short "Lazy Sunday" starring Chris Parnell and Andy Samberg. If you've ever dreamed of seeing two white guys rap about cupcakes and The Chronicles of Narnia, then this is your ticket to paradise. I think I've seen it at least ten times and it is still just as funny as the first time. There is no real way to describe it other than it's hiLARious...moreso than Nick Cannon. Head on over to YouTube, type in "lazy sunday" and then prepare to laugh your bum off. I know I did. DO IT NOW!

Miller Time?

I am not familiar with the skiing talents of the one they call Bode Miller, aside from the fact that he flails around a lot when he skis and he hasn't gotten a ticket for SUI (skiing under the influence). But that's not the point here (well, it may be later on). The point here is that he is tremendously overhyped, and it's only partially due to his ability to ski. People have found it more entertaining and insightful to focus on his "rebel rebel" attitude. He is well on his way to becoming the poster child of America.

Well, I hate to break it to all of you "Bode"-gans out there in Winter Wonderland, but Mr. Miller is just your typical white, male twentysomething. You could hang out at a college frat party for three minutes and see about 31.4 Bode Millers. Sorry kids, your hero is nothing more than your average zero save for the abnormal fact that he is in the Olympics. I don't doubt that he's trained hard, and he may or may not be giving it his all when he goes out there on the slopes. But the fact of the matter is, nobody would know his name if it wasn't for his actions away from the snowy mountain of death.

Dr. K...

Or how I learned to stop doing anything and love being lazy.

I'm on my computer about four or five hours a day. Yes, my life is pathetic. I know. You'd think that if I spent at least one of those hours writing SOMETHING that within a few weeks I would have completed another "script". But no, not this guy. Instead, I wake up, think about how I'm going to finally start writing again, then let the entire day pass by, go online, and look at stupid shit (which is why the Internet was created in the first place).

Tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I'll get back on the bandwagon (or off it). I have no job, I've already graduated from college, and I still can't stop masturbating. All reasons for me to get my fat ass gears in motion. By this time tomorrow, I promise to have written at least one page. That sounds like a good (albeit lofty) goal.

Let me just say this in closing: SK is gonna give SB and her A crew a run for their money...hopefully...goddamn my wishful thinking.

Williams on Leno and Chewie

I never thought I would live to see the Maestro John Williams on any type of late-night show, let alone Jay Leno. But here we are, 2006, and Johnny still isn't getting the recognition he deserves. He was on with Yo Yo Ma and together they played a little diddy called "Sayuri's Theme" from Memoirs of a Geisha (which, while being a bit bland for my taste, should be greatly respected for its achievement in delicately combining Western motifs with oriental instruments). Yo Yo Ma got most of the recognition, even though it was Williams who did all of the composition. And even more unfortunate is that most people probably think Yo Yo Ma composed all of the music for Memoirs. Tis a sad state of affairs for our nation. Still, it was nice to see two masters of their craft performing together. Hopefully, John Williams will obtain one more new fan. And here's hoping that in March he gets a new friend; namely, his sixth Oscar.

And on an interesting note, it turns out Chewbacca is real and he has his own blog on Blogspot. I added his blog in the links section. I'm not sure which category he would fall under: writer or funny. We'll stick with funny for now.